Total Drama Back To The Island
by slendie258
Summary: For the fifth season Chris brings the twenty-four original contestants back to the island, again, where they will compete for 3,100,001 in wacky challenges, there will be heartbreak, alliances, back stabbing and a crazy Izzy, what more do you need. Pairings: Gwuncan (unfortunately) Gidgette, one sided Coderra and some pairing I am keeping a secret.
1. Chapter 1

**A short message from the producers of Total Drama:**

The screen flashed to see the island of Wawanakwa. As the camera zoomed in to see McLean on the Dock of Shame, grinning like a psycho, a narrator's voice was heard,

"Back where it all began, those twenty-two teens who started the craze from which I get my paycheck are back, with those two really annoying ones who managed to get themselves really far in Total Drama World Tour. These contestants seek closure, well, no, the contracts states they have to be there, but technicalities," the narrator explained. "That really boring Revenge of The Island cast will NOT appear and these twenty-four, now young adults, fight for all the prize money ever given put together! That means the contestants are competing for $3,100,000, and because we are so nice, we are adding an extra dollar to make it extra special." The screen shows all twenty-four contestants and some prize money during his speech. The camera shows McLean, "Now on with Total Drama Back To The Island!"

* * *

Chris was standing on the very familiar Dock of Shame. The sun was shining and he had his signature grin on, his pearly whites glinting in the sun. "Hello viewing world," Chris grinned cheekily. "We have the fifth season of Total Drama here, back where we started it all, again, now a non-toxic waste dump, but still as run down as ever, Camp Wawanakwa. We decided that the ROTI cast were kinda boring so we brought back, once again, the original cast, all 24 of them." A boat was seen appearing over the horizon. It was white with golden stripes, and on the bow of the boat stood a girl with black hair and teal highlights, with a bored expression on her face.  
The boat docked and she stepped off calmly. "Gwen, glad to see you could make it," Chris greeted the goth, cheerful as ever.

"Really McLean? Another season, and back in this dump? Try thinking of something original please," she said simply before stepping where she had stood four seasons ago. Another boat soon appeared over the horizon, another old contestant standing on the boat. The boy had blonde hair and a pink flannel shirt, his cowboy hat ever present on his head. He coolly stepped of the boat.

"Hey Geoff, hows it goin' man?" Chris greeted him with a man hug.

"Yeah, I'm good, man." He returned the hug and stepped over to Gwen and gave a warm smile, which she returned, and they just stood there. "Hey Chris, do you know which boat Bridgette is on?" Geoff inquired, wanting to be reunited with his girlfriend after a year apart.

"I do know," Chris stated as Geoff leaned forward, until Chris put on his sadistic grin. "But I'm not gonna tell you," Chris chuckled as Geoff stared solemnly at his feet as another boat appeared over the horizon. On it stood a familiar girl with tan skin and mocha hair, the determined look on her face turning to anger at the sight of Gwen. "Hey Courtney, welcome back to the island," Chris performed his greeting once again.

"WHY IS THAT BOYFRIEND STEALING GOTH GIRL HERE?!" Courtney demanded, anger etched into her expression.

"Because Gwen was an original contestant, therefore she must compete in this season as says her contract," Chris explained, grinning widely as Courtney fumed and stood as far away as possible from the goth. "Hahaha, drama already, I knew those two would be a ratings magnet." He chuckled to himself as another boat docked. This boat had the two inseparable polar opposites with probably the same brain. "Katie and Sadie, maybe you can get to the merge this season," Chris snided. The girls, who were oblivious to his mocking, answered, their high obnoxious voices melding as one.

"Yeah Chris, we soo will, we even have a plan and everything, so this season is gonna be like so good for us," Katie explained.

"Yeah, like so good," Sadie agreed as they walked off arm in arm to the other three contestants, saying hi as they muttered it back and the wonder twins went back to chattering like birds. More boats docked, two this time. On one, the ginger nerd Harold, the other, the cynical book worm.

"Yay, another season, joy," Noah sarcastically commented as Harold hefted his keyboard off of the boat.

"Yessss, another season to show off my mad skillz." Harold did a ninja pose and pulled out nunchucks, flailing about wildly and hitting himself in the kiwis. "Owwwwwwwwwww," he moaned, falling over, grasping his injured area just as Bridgette hopped off another boat and immediately became worried over the injured Harold.

"Harold, are you okay?" Bridgette asked, helping him up.

"Yes," he squeaked before being dropped as Geoff scooped Bridgette into his arms and they began to make out with vigor as the other contestants groaned while Katie and Sadie awwwwwed.  
"Ummmm, little help here," Harold groaned as Gwen stepped over and pulled him to his feet.. "Thanks," the nerd muttered as he hobbled to the edge of the dock. Three more boats piled to step onto the wooden dock. First came Heather, who had decided to keep her hair how it was in Total Drama World Tour. She stepped onto the dock and glared at Chris, "I lost my million to Alejandro cause I threw in his dummy! McLean, I would suggest keeping a bodyguard on you at all times, or else," she threatened, menacingly making Chris cower in fear as a now back to normal Ezekiel stepped off his boat. He looked ever confident and strided up to Chris.

"Hey Chris, hoows it gooin', eh?" he asked, hands in his pocket and his toque on his head. Chris nodded feebly, still terrified by the glaring Heather, as Zeke sauntered over to the other campers, he gave Heather a wink, to which she gave him the finger while still glaring at the sadistic host.

"Never in a million years homeschool," she growled, venom laced. The last boat was everyone's favorite sister, Leshawna. She began to cackle at the sight of Chris cowering in fear.

"Oh wow y'all, the demented host is finally terrified, who did it?" she questioned, a large grin on her face. Her grin literally reached ear to ear, and her eyes scanned the campers, scanning over until she rested upon Heather and her death glare. "Ooooh gurl, that glare is cold," she stated before walking over to the group as she applauded Heather slightly, as did pretty much everyone else. Chris soon gulped as another boat stopped at the tip of the dock, a sweat breaking out as he felt Heather's cold grey eyes bore into his back and pierce his very being.

On the boat was a young adult in the signature red track suit and headband. He jumped off the railings at the front and face planted on the wooden dock. He groaned as some people like Heather began to laugh while others fretted over the second guy who has injured himself in the space of ten minutes. Chris chuckled as Tyler lifted himself up and held his jaw, grimacing at the pain as he spat out some blood into the lake, as well as a couple of teeth. Some people felt sympathy for him and made noise of slight disgust as a medic rushed and gave Tyler a patch of gauze to stop his bleeding gums. The klutzy jock accepted it and placed the fabric over the hole in his mouth as a crazy redhead swung in from thin air and landed on Tyler's shoulders, cackling madly she began to pinch his cheeks and talk babyish to him.

"Awwwww, is wittle Tyler okay?" she joked as he made a noise of protest and tried throwing her off by running around like a loon as Izzy held on with an iron grip. "Hahahaha, this is just like that time when I rode that bull from the RCMP! It never did buck me off, from Spain all the way to Belgium, no one really cares about Belgium though. I know, I will make Belgium popular!" she shouted her plan as she flipped off Tyler's shoulders and standing with the others, her red hair over her face as she still laughed maniacally as the others gave no notice of her craziness. After spending three seasons of it, you kinda get used to it.

The next boat to appear was struggling to move because it contained the lovable big guy, Owen, his traditional maple leaf shirt on. As he stepped off the boat, it soon sped off at a speed easily ten fold that of what it just went.

"Hey guys," Owen greeted as everyone said hey, nodded, etc, even Heather and Noah who usually either hated everyone or just couldn't be bothered to. He walked over to the contestants and saddened at the sight of his ex, Izzy, who had dumped him back in Jamaica. He had even sung a song about it. She seemed oblivious to his upset mood as she began chattering with the wonder twins about all her amazing adventures, which they listened to intently and occasionally give the odd, OMG, or that is like soo funny, in totes sync (DAMN I WILL NOT FALL FOR THEIR WEIRD TEXT TALK WAYS, NEVERRRRR, I am kinda crazy.) Another boat appeared carrying two more contestants: An excitable girl with blond hair, held back by a blue bandanna, and her equally excitable BFF with brown hair held in a side ponytail.  
"Lindsay, Beth, welcome to another season." Chris quickly took the chance to greet them, something he hadn't done for the last few contestants. They were hogging his screen time and he wasn't happy.

"Hey Chip!" Lindsay greeted, still having trouble with the names of everyone, even after knowing them for five years.

"Ummm, Lindsay, his name is Chris," Beth corrected her slightly dumb friend as Chris fumed over the years of being called wrong by the blond bimbo.

"Are you sure? I could have sworn his name is Chip, or was it Carl?" She began to have a look of pure concentration on her face as she tried to remember the egocentric host's name as Beth ushered her to the other campers. Upon seeing her boyfriend, Tyler, she forgot about even trying to remember Chip's or Carl's name or whatever "TAYLOR!" she exclaimed as he scooped her up in his arms and kissed her passionately on the lips. He had given up on being called the right name, at least she knew he was her boyfriend. Another boat pulled up at the feeble dock and another two contestants stepped off, well one stepped off with the other in her arms, hugging him tight as she stepped onto the dock. The girl had purple hair which had know grown back to it's original length after the Drumheller incident, and the boy in her arms was a brunette, who struggled against her grip on him as she nuzzled him against her chest.

"OMG, Cody, we are on the island, it is just AMAZING!" she squealed as Cody began to lose oxygen.

"Sierra, this is your first time on the island, isn't it?" Chris stated.

"Well, no, not exactly. I did sneak into your trailer a couple of times and Cody's cabin back in the first season and I may have stolen some of Cody's pants but..."

"So that was where my pants went, I was looking for those for like six episodes, so I kinda went commando but, hehe, no one knew that." Cody, who had been released by the purplette stalker, giggled nervously. He walked over to the other contestants and stood with Gwen, attempting to make small talk but she shot him down every time. The CIT, who was loudly grumbling about her on the other side of the dock, was really getting on her last nerve. After conversing with Chris about all the contestants private lives, she stalked behind Cody.

"CODYKINS!" She embraced him in her deathgrip from behind and started sniffing his hair. "Ohhh Cody, mandarin," another sniff, "ohhh and papaya!" she stated as she began to sniff his hair again, while everyone looked disgusted. Another boat pulled up and a reluctant Duncan stepped off, scowling. He just walked past Chris, angering the host even further at his lack of screen time. Ignoring the fuming host Duncan wordlessly pulled Gwen into a kiss as Courtney clenched her fists, her nails digging into her flesh as Goth Girl made out with him, the one she had loved, but why did it still annoy her? She shook her head as a large thump was heard at the end of the dock as Eva dropped her large suitcase on the floor, a dull clang echoed from the dumbbells that were obviously in her bag.

"Eva, welcome back."

"Heather, you better watch out, you got me eliminated first and Leshawna better keep on the ball, as you are on gonna get it this season, both of you," she threatened, giving a death glare that intimidated everyone except the two it was meant to scare and Izzy.

"Pah-lease, She-male, I ain't scared of no muscly, probably addicted to steroids, that might just be transgender, **." Leshawna retorted with her hands on her hips and the sistah moody face.

"I can't believe I would ever say this but, I am with Leshawna on this one, you do not intimidate me," Heather taunted, stretching out the words as if Eva was dumb, the muscly black-haired Jockette just began breathing and counting to ten.

"I will not get angry, anger and violence is not the answer," she began muttering to herself over and over, making Heather, Leshawna and a few others who disliked Eva a lot found rather funny at her anger management. When she began meditating, Heather and Leshawna burst out with laughter at Eva in Indian style with her wrists rested on her knees and she began to make strange noises.

"WHY IS EVERYONE IGNORING ME?!" Chris shouted as the camera finally focused on him. "Ummm hello, I am the host and the host deserves the most screen time," he explained as the last four boats appeared. On one was the animal lover, DJ. He held Bunny in his hands as the rabbit nuzzled his chest. The gentle giant stepped off the boat and everyone said a hello and wave at the big guy. "DJ, welcome back to the island, how is it going?" Chris asked DJ as he stopped in front of the host.

"Yeah, Chris, I'm good."

"So, have you gotten rid of the curse?"  
DJ's eyes began to well with tears. "ALL THE ANIMALS!" he bawled as the other campers comforted him or glared at Chris who shrugged and turned his attention the Latino now out of the robotic prison he was in after the finale of World Tour. Alejandro walked up to Chris.

"Al," Chris began to snicker at the Latino, "dude, what happened to your nose?" His laughter became uncontrollable as the other contestants joined in with the cacophony of laughter, like millions of birds, chirping relentlessly in your ear.

"I am aware my nose might be slightly large."

"Dude, you could land a plane on that thing," Chris pointed out, making Alejandro breath slightly heavier.

"When you go to Brazil to be made to look good to go out in public, in a backstreet alley plastic surgeon, they do tend to mess up slightly." The laughter grew more and more in volume and Trent and Justin walked off the boat as well. Trent had his guitar strapped to his back with his hands in his pockets while Justin was posing in front of camera while the embarrassment of Alejandro went on. He ripped of his shirt and began flexing his muscles and wiggling his pecs until Chris pushed him over and he fell to the floor face first.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" he screamed. "IT HAS BEEN BLEMISHED!" He revealed to the camera a small bruise forming on his nose the size of a pea, "MY MODELING CAREER IS OVER!" he fretted as Chris got all the contestants in a huddle.

"Ok guys, welcome back to the island, and to Al and Sierra, just welcome. This island started your fame, and may or may not end it, I haven't decided for a sixth season yet," Chris explained as the campers nodded, "This season will have no set teams as I think it would be funny to make you have different teams every week, to stir up drama, break alliances and let you interact with people who you have never been on a team with. See, I am thoughtful of you guys sometimes. There are now two cabins, a boy's cabin and a girl's, every week could be an elimination or reward, I can spring challenges on you at any time so be on your guard, and when a team wins a challenge they get to stay in our luxury cabin." He pointed to a beautiful large white cabin/cottage thing and the others stared at it in awe of it because Chris actually spent money on them. "Yes, I spent money this season because I am awesome, thank me later," he said smugly. "This season you will be competing for all the prize money ever, and a dollar, bringing the grand total to $3,100,001! The confessional is the good old-fashioned outhouse, and now I will let you guys settle in your cabins. You decide which gender sleeps in which, no co-ed," the host finished as he walked off to his trailer and some contestants began pouring out their feelings in the confessional.

**(CONFESSIONAL)**

**EVA: Yes, I have been taking anger manegment, and yes, it has helped me tremendously, but if someone gets on my nerves, I will SMASH THEIR FACE IN! Anger is not the answer, anger is not the answer...**

**HEATHER: I will win this season! I will destroy Chris as a secondary objective, but winning is primary.**

**LESHAWNA: What was up with Eva? She just began to meditate, *begins chuckling* meditating, really? *begins to laugh uncontrollably***

**EZEKIEL: Twice I have been eliminated first, but not this season! I am not a sexist, nonono, I will give women a fair chance.**

**IZZY: Izzy will make Belgium popular, but first, I wonder where Chris keeps all his hair gel?**

**(END CONFESSIONAL)**

**(GIRL'S CABIN)**

Heather and Leshawna were arguing over a bed. "I saw this bed first!" Heather complained as Leshawna pulled on her now short ponytail.

"Well, I got there first!" Leshawna threw back as Heather clawed at her face. "Do I have to do a repeat of Germany on yo ** Heather?" Leshawna threatened, ceasing Heather's violence.

"Okay, I have a way to solve where everyone sleeps. We draw straws like back in TDA, big makeup brushes go on top bunks while small ones are bottom bunkers, 'kay?" Heather reasoned as she brought out her make-up bag with her mascara in it. "I luckily have twelve mascaras of varying sizes, go on pick," she picked herself one and paired up with Courtney, who agreed with her. They were the sanest ones there. Lindsay and Beth paired up, as did Gwen and Bridgette, Katie and Sadie, unsurprisingly, Izzy and Sierra and finally, albeit begrudgingly Leshawna and Eva. Each person took a mascara, on the top bunks were, Eva, Lindsay, Gwen, Courtney, Katie and Izzy. Lindsay walked over to her bed.

"Ummmm guys, how do I get up again?" she asked, scratching her chin. Everyone facepalmed as Beth showed her BFF how to climb a ladder, "Ohh, I get it, but how do I get down?" Once again, facepalms all around as Beth had to show the bimbo how to climb down the ladder too.

**(Boy's Cabin)**

The boys managed to pair up and choose beds without fighting or mascara brushes. Cody and Noah, Owen and Tyler,Geoff and Duncan, DJ and Trent, Harold and Ezekiel, and finally, Alejandro and Justin, with Cody on the top bunk as well as Tyler, Duncan, Trent, Ezekiel and Justin. They unpacked their things and began to socialize.

"Okay, guys, who do you think of the girls could be a threat? I think Leshawna could get far again this season," Duncan asked.

"Heather." Alejandro sighed dreamily at her name.

"Ummmm, I dunno really, Courtney seems as determined as ever," Cody said, while Noah agreed with the geek.

"That girl stops at nothing," he stated as the other guys all just began chattering over girls and parties and stuff. That was until Owen farted and all the boys rushed out, disgusted by the fat boy's gas problem.

"Owen, how do you even do that?" Geoff asked as he choked and held his nose. "You can practically chew on that," he complained as Chris's voice sounded over the speakers.

"CAMPERS! MEET ME AT THE CAMPFIRE FOR YOUR FIRST CHALLENGE!" his voice echoing around the camp as contestants walked calmly to the campfire pit, minus Izzy, who was just Izzy and Sierra, who was so excited to be at the campfire legally, pulling Cody along with her.

All the campers gathered around glowing fire as Chris stood behind his blue oil barrel. Sierra was touching the seats, collecting swabs from places, and for some reason, licking all of them, much to the disgust of the other campers. Chris and Chef, "Welcome campers, to the campfire pit one more time, this challenge is a cracker, you all have to do something that I'm pretty sure you would never want to do again: eat food, specially prepared by Chef." He finished with his maniacal laugh and the horrified looks of all the contestants, minus Owen and Izzy who looked happy for food and, well, Izzy. The camera blacked out as Chris's voice is heard, "Find out next episode on Total... Drama... Back To The Island!" he stated, chuckling after he did.

* * *

**THERE IS THE PILOT OF TDBTTI! WILL EVA KEEP HER COOL? WILL IZZY FIND CHRIS'S HAIR GEL FOR WHAT EVER REASON SHE DOES? AND WILL SHE SUCCEED IN MAKING BELGIUM POPULAR? FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN TDBTTI! REMEMBER TO REVIEW, FAV, FOLLOW, ALL THAT STUFF AND SEE YA NEXT CHAPTER XD**

**SHOUTOUTS GO TO ellie2498, WHO PROOFREAD THIS WHOLE CHAPTER THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND TO The Kobold Necromancer WHO INSPIRED THIS FIC AND HE WILL PROBABLY NOT READ BUT HE DESERVES A SHOUTOUT, THANKS GUYS.**


	2. Food Fest

**A**** short message from the producers of Total Drama.**

The narrator's voice is heard once again as we see the shocked faces of the campers

"The twenty-four contestants have arrived at Camp Wawanakwa and are faced with the horrendous challenges right away, Chef's cooking." An ominous thunder-clap sound plays as a scream is heard, we see Chris grinning like a psycho with Chef looking offended at the bullying of his cooking, "Which team will come out on top, and which team will send someone home."

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama Back To The Island, the campers arrived back at everyone's favorite summer camp, Camp Wawanakwa, some people reunited with loved ones, and some reunited with people they didn't really want to see. There was drama, there was a really bad plastic surgery job and I never got enough screen time, this episode, the contestants must eat food, specially prepared by Chef, meaning, it's going to be GREAT!" Chris finished as it fades to black.

* * *

The campers all had disgusted looks on their faces, Chef's food, help me now, was pretty much going through all of their brains.

"But Chef's cooking isn't that bad, he studied for 3 years at cooking college and passed with flying colors." Sierra popped up with the fact to which the other contestants laughed at,

"Didn't you ever eat his crappy cooking on the plane." Leshawna stated,

"No, I spent most of my time in first class so I got decent food." Leshawna muttered something inaudible, something about her team and how they were shit or something.

"As I was saying." Chris interrupted "You will have to eat courses of food specially prepared by Chef, and the last five to finish are eliminated." There were nods and noises of agreement, "Now for the teams, for this time only, you will be in Bass and Gophers from the original season, so for those with bad memory on the Gophers, Owen, Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, Izzy, Lindsay, Trent, Beth, Cody, Justin and Noah, and on the Bass, Duncan, Geoff, DJ, Bridgette, Eva, Harold, Courtney, Sadie, Tyler, Katie and Ezekiel, of course we do have the problem of our extras, and because I cannot be bothered to sort them into teams, Sierra which team do you want to be on?" Chris asked as the others sorted into their groups and Sierra answered quick as lightning,

"The Gophers." she ran over and hugged Cody again as he wheezed, feeling dizzy,

"That means Alejandro is on the Bass,"

"My pleasure." he charmed as he walked to Sadie and kissed her wrist, she slapped him round the face and laughed,

"Please, your were like super hot, no you're like super not." she commented as Katie nodded and others laughed.

"Contestants, please follow me to the cafeteria," Chris said walking to the cafeteria where they had so many bad memories of bad food, moving food, well now they were about to make some more.

The contestants were all seated at tables decorated with their color, the Gophers had green place mats and cutlery and all that jazz, while the Bass's things were all red. "Campers, welcome to the cafeteria, a place of horror and disgust." A knife went flying over Chris's head, "You know the rules, you will eat a meal prepared by Chef, the last five to finish are eliminated, there is no chickening out in this, you will stay until you finish the course or you are one of the two left, so without further ado, Chef, the starter." Chef appeared out of the kitchen balancing 24 trays of food, covered by lids, he expertly got them to all 24 with a neat spin as the contestants lifted the lids revealing what looked like a harmless egg,

"Come on Chris this is an egg, an _egg, _I eat those every morning for breakfast at home." Heather stated, unimpressed by this,

"Just crack the shell." Chris began to chuckle sadistically again as everyone cautiously began to crack at their egg, once the shell layer was removed the inner section was black, "HAHAHA, go on guys, have a fermented egg," Chris joked as some campers puked at the mere sight and smell, Eva gingerly picked up her meal and cautiously took a bite, making a disgusted face she chewed on it and quickly swallowed,

"MCLEAN, THIS TASTES LIKE CRAP," She shouted, before beginning her calming exercises and took another bite of the rotting egg, gagging as she went, she soon managed to swallow the entire repulsive ovular object and puked over the floor where Duncan's feet were, he didn't care though, as he foresaw himself puking with the egg. Owen and Izzy grabbed their eggs and swallowed them whole, including a cackle from Izzy and a noise of approval from Owen,

"You know this tastes good, where did ya get em Chris?" Owen asked, disgusting the others in the room. As time went by others plucked up the courage to eat their lovely egg, Duncan, Gwen, Beth, Leshawna and Courtney all managed to get theirs down,

"Chris?" Heather began

"Yes Heather." she walked up to him and whispered something in his ear to which he gave a small nod

"Thanks Chris," sitting back down she passed her egg under the table to Owen who, taking the hint, ate it secretly,

"And Heather becomes the eighth person safe in this round." Chris said as the other contestants, minus Owen all looked confused and tried to fathom how Heather had eaten her egg, that was apart from Sierra, she was luckily sitting next to Owen, she whispered to Cody to give her his egg, Cody gladly obliged and slipped Sierra his egg under the table, Sierra then passed that two eggs to Owen who also ate theirs for them, "Sierra and Cody are the next two safe." Chris said, reclining in his chair, once again they got the confused looks from others as Geoff plucked up the courage to eat the egg, puking along the way, the cafeteria was now kinda messy with vomit as the contestants ate the egg, Ezekiel managed to eat his while Tyler did too both of them actually keeping it in and not puking over people.

"Uhhhh, Carl, this looks really bad for you and I might gain weight and be all fat like Latifah or Oscar." Lindsay said innocently as Leshawna grew slightly angry, in her head was just, _she is really dumb, she doesn't think what she is doing, do not freak._

"Well Lindsay you could forfeit the challenge."

"Yeah ok Chip I will do that,"

"Then Lindsay has forfeited and doesn't have to eat in this challenge,"

"Yay, wait... what does forfeit mean." Everyone face palmed at the blond

"Lindsay you bimbo, you're out of the challenge ahhhh." Heather screeched as Lindsay walked out of the cafeteria and sitting outside and doing her nails,

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**LINDSAY: ****Helga was like so mean, I didn't know what forfeiting meant, this is why Beth is wayyy better, at least she has half a heart.**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"With Lindsay out of the challenge, there were only nine people left to eat their first course," Chris narrated as the remaining nine eyed the egg with contempt as Trent and DJ finished the egg, their faces contorted into weird, horrific poses, "Scratch that, only seven campers still have to complete the first course and only three spots remain in round two." Chris carried on, only Justin, Alejandro, Bridgette, Katie, Sadie, Noah, and Harold

"Umm, I cannot believe I am doing this but." Noah ate the egg and made a some weird noise before swallowing and puking a few seconds later, next Katie and Sadie pumped their fists into the air, showing their clean plates, therefore being the final two to move on and leaving, Justin, Alejandro, Bridgette and Harold out of the competition,

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**ALEJANDRO: I have a very weak stomach and I felt that eating that could possibly be bad for my health so I decided against it.**

**END ****CONFESSIONA****L**

* * *

"And that is it, the first five people have been eliminated, so we move on to round two, Chef, the fish course." Chef appeared with nineteen lids, once again spinning and all nineteen of them fell in front of the ones in the next round. "Campers, I whaley hope you like fish." As they contestants lifted the lid it revealed a live fish, flopping around on the plate, Izzy simply ate hers, as did Owen and Ezekiel, who while in his feral state had grown to eat raw foods and all that, the trait had passed on to him even when back to normal. Heather once again repeated the option of passing her food to Owen, how people didn't notice her was a mystery, Sierra and Cody did the same, giving their food to the human dumpster, Eva and Duncan managed to eat theirs with little problem, as did Leshawna. "Only four more places in round three remain, who will reach them." Chris mused as the other nine were nibbling there fish,

"Finished!" Sadie shouted, with an empty plate, holding it up for the world,

"And Sadie takes the last place!" Chris shouted, causing the contestants who hadn't finished to protest,

"Chris, you said there were five people eliminated every round, I will sue you." Courtney threatened.

"Too late princess," he said, "I got bored so I decided to cut an extra three, big deal, so the contestants moving on to round three are Owen, Izzy, Leshawna, Heather, Cody and Sierra, while only Ezekiel, Duncan, Eva and Sadie are playing for the Bass, a six:four split, come on Bass, step it up, this is the penultimate course, the main course, Chef, what's on the menu." Chris explained as Chef came out with ten trays, and spinning and once again they landed right were they needed to be. "Contestants, for your main course, you guys better eat quick to get a _head_" He laughed at his own joke as the contestants pulled off the lids,

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**HEATHER: A deep fried chicken head Chris, seriously are you kidding me, I don't think even Owen would touch that.**

**OWEN: It actually didn't taste that bad you know, I just ignored the bones, luckily we didn't have to eat them.**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Owen of course has eaten his head, as has Izzy, and Heather, Cody and Sierra, no loading off to Owen this round." Chris pointed out smirking at the astonishment in the campers faces of the brilliant idea of the queen bee and stalker, cause it was quite obvious Cody would never think of that, as Eva cautiously ate the meat of the chicken, finishing the whole thing, minus bones again, "And Eva takes the third place in the final round, only two more spaces remain," as surprisingly Sadie finished once again, her taking the fourth place, Duncan had a can't be asked look on his face while the four remaining Gophers picked at their heads slowly, finishing them bit by bit, Cody, Sierra and Heather still had empty stomachs while Leshawna had previously eaten two other courses, giving the other three distinct advantages.

"Chris, I did it!" Heather shouted, holding up her plate with the skull on it.

"And Heather takes the final place in the dessert round." Chris shouted to the camera and campers, as the ones who were out sighed with relief, they were done. The Gophers had a big grin on there face, they had Owen on their team and Izzy, so in their minds, it was a done deal, "Gophers Bass, in this round the rules are everyone has to eat until one person remains, that person's team is sending someone home tonight," Chris revealed as the Gophers groaned, there could still be a chance they lose. "Chef, the dessert." Chef once again appeared from his little kitchen with five trays this time and placing them in front of the five remaining "victims" if you like. "Campers now here is my personal favorite _roachy _road." He chuckled at his pun as the campers lifted the lids once again to their meal revealing what appeared to be an ice-cream sundae, with marshmallows and well what was meant to be the brownie pieces, was, dead cockroaches, Heather couldn't hold her stomach and for the first time puked over the floor by her feet, as did Sadie.

As Owen engulfed his questionable sundae in one gulp, with Izzy and Eva eating theirs with vigor, only Heather and Sadie had eaten a few spoons, by the time Izzy and Eva had eaten theirs, the two other girls had only eaten half, they both began to shovel the cockroach ice-cream into their mouths as quick as possible, "Two spoonfuls left, the atmosphere here is electric, who will win, Sadie has a slight lead wait, wait Heather is on her last spoon, so is Sadie and the winner is..." Chris narrated like an auctioneer as the teams cheered for their team, "AND HEATHER WINS BY A SECOND!" Chris exclaimed as Heather swallowed just before Sadie, "Sorry Bass, you're sending someone home tonight, Gophers, you win a pool party, but you can choose to invite the Bass and Owen as the first to finish for the Gophers may choose," Chris explained as Owen pondered the options,

"Chris I choose that everyone is welcome." the Bass cheered as did the Gophers, coming together in one moment of unity and well POOL PARTY! (that last bit was Geoff by the way)

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**GEOFF: Owen is awesome, he would be great at one of my parties,**

**HEATHER: Another week on the island for me, and maybe my team will finally realize my usefulness and not try to vote my off first time, _again_.**

**LESHAWNA: I don't care if Heather won this challenge for us, I will vote her scrawny ass off this Island faster than Usain Volt runs the hundred meters [1]**

**IZZY: Izzy has found out where Chris keeps his secret hair gel, I just need to find out the password, I bet Cheffie knows, *She runs off laughing like a loon***

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

The pool party was in full swing as all thoughts of the impending elimination were forgotten and everyone was just having fun, Duncan was sitting in the hot tub with Gwen, hugging and sharing the occasional kiss, but Duncan's mind was elsewhere, Lindsay and a few other girls had decided to play volleyball, in their bikinis and Duncan was fixated on the match, not for the winner, but for the girls, something Gwen had picked up on,

"Duncan, stop staring at all the girls tits," Gwen warned

"i'm not looking at their tits."

"Duncan, let's face it you are, please stop,"

"Sorry Gwen, I'll stop," He stared into her eyes and inched forward and they began to make out passionately, just like Bridgette and Geoff on the other side of the hot tub. As they broke up Gwen had to go to the toilet, jumping out of the hot tub she walked calmly away as Duncan resumed his previous activities of staring at, boobies.

After here trip to the little goth's room she walked to see Duncan still staring at the girls playing volleyball, tears began to well up in her eyes at the site, "DUNCAN!" She half screamed half bawled, making his head snap in her direction, "How could you." She choked before running off, prompting Duncan to run after her,

"GWEN, GWEN!" He screamed as she locked herself in the girls cabin, "Don't make me break in," He threatened, no answer, "Please," he begged,

"GO AWAY $$HOLE!" She screamed at him through the door,

"Gwen, please." he sobbed as she sat stubbornly against the door as he slid down it on the other side, sobbing crazily. Her expression softened as she unlocked the door and opened it. He ran in and hugged her, only for her to push him off her, a shocked expression on his face, "Why?" he choked,

"Because I realized that a relationship with you is not what I want." She explained,

"Well what can I do, to make you stay with me."

"Nothing Duncan, we are over."

DING DING DING

Chris's voice is heard, "Oh yeah, I'm bringing back the singing from season three, but you have to sing real songs," the host explained as the two groaned, "Oh and Gwen doesn't have to sing, only Duncan," he chuckled as Duncan thought of a song

Cue music to Jackson 5 I want you back,

Duncan: _When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around,_

_Those pretty faces always make you stand out in a crowd  
But someone picked you from the bunch, one glance is all it took  
Now it's much too late for me to take a second look_

Oh baby, give me one more chance  
(To show you that I love you)  
Won't you please let me back in your heart  
Oh darlin', I was blind to let you go  
(Let you go, baby)  
But now since I've seen you it is on  
(I want you back)  
Oh I do now  
(I want you back)  
Ooh ooh baby  
(I want you back)  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah  
(I want you back)  
Na na na na

Trying to live without your love is one long sleepless night  
Let me show you, girl, that I know wrong from right  
Every street you walk on, I leave tear stains on the ground  
Following the girl I didn't even want around

Let me tell ya now  
Oh baby, all I need is one more chance  
(To show you that I love you)  
Won't you please let me back in your heart  
Oh darlin', I was blind to let you go  
(Let you go, baby)  
But now since I've seen you it is on

All I want  
All I need  
All I want!  
All I need!

Oh, just one more chance  
To show you that I love you  
Baby baby baby baby baby baby!  
(I want you back)  
Forget what happened then  
(I want you back)  
And let me live again!

Oh baby, I was blind to let you go  
But now since I've seen you it is on  
(I want you back)  
Spare me of this cost  
(I want you back)  
Give me back what I lost!

Oh baby, I need one more chance, hah  
I'd show you that I love you  
Baby, oh! Baby, oh! Baby, oh!  
I want you back!  
I want you back!

"As touching as that was Duncan, what I felt for you is gone, I'm sorry." she walked off, tears in her eyes leaving a stunned Duncan who sunk to his knees and began to sob, the cries echoing throughout the Island.

* * *

**ELIMINATION CEREMONY**

* * *

Duncan was sitting on a stump, being consoled by Geoff and DJ, while Courtney was smirking triumphantly, though she felt odd, a feeling of something she couldn't quite put her finger on as Chris came and stood behind his blue barrel, his signature grin on his face, "Hello Bass, to your first elimination ceremony of the season, today you guys did pretty well in the eating challenge, but there is no immunity for Sadie or Eva, despite them reaching the final round." He began to explain, "You will cast your votes inside the confessional and you will be monitored in there so there will be no vote swapping," Courtney glared at Harold who grinned sheepishly "And you know the rest of the deal, if you receive a marshmallow you are safe and if you don't then you will walk the dock of shame and board the boat of losers and you cannot return ever" He finished as everyone formed a line outside the confessional to cast their votes.

* * *

**VOTING CONFESSIONALS**

**EVA: They didn't do much in today's challenge so that's why I am voting for them, it's that simple.**

**DJ: Sorry girl, even I got further than you.**

**KATIE: Well I am just gonna vote for this person cause Sadie told me to and why would I question Sadie.**

**END**

* * *

Chris stood with the results in his hand, "Campers, the results are in and the first two contestants safe are Sadie and Eva," He threw there marshmallows as Katie hugged Sadie and the two safe people ate their sugary treats "Tyler and shockingly Ezekiel, well done for not being eliminated first,"

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**EZEKIEL: I have a tactic foor this season, I plan to stay loow and avoid any unnecessary enemies eh.**

**END CONFESSIONAL  
**

* * *

"Geoff and Courtney." Once again the two caught their marshmallows and savored them, "DJ, Duncan and Katie." He threw the three their cylindrical treats, Katie and Sadie hugged happily while DJ, Duncan and Geoff exchanged high-fives, "Bridgette, Harold and Alejandro," Chris began "All three of you were eliminated first round," they began to shuffle their feet nervously, "Harold, you live to fight another day." Chris threw Harold the penultimate marshmallow, which he gratefully received, "The final marshmallow of the night goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"GET ON WITH IT" Eva shouted

ALEJANDRO!" Chris exclaimed as Alejandro caught the marshmallow and Bridgette looked down as Geoff embraced her in a hug, "That means Bridgette, you are outta here," Geoff and Bridgette shared a quick kiss before she walked down the dock, she boarded the boat and it sailed off into the distance, leaving a very distraught Geoff, everyone got together and gave him a big group hug.

He looked up, fire in his eyes, "FOR BRIDGETTE!" He exclaimed before calmly walking back to the boys cabin and laying down in bed, "For Bridgette," he whispered before falling asleep.

The camera cut to McLean with his grin on, "So Bridgette is the first contestant eliminated from this season, Gwen and Duncan broke up and Ezekiel wasn't the first eliminated, well he didn't really do much so why vote him off, well viewing world that's all from me, Chris Mclean and see you next time on Total Drama BACK TO THE ISLAND.

* * *

**AND SO BRIDGETTE IS THE FIRST ELIMINATED, SORRY BRIDGETTE FANS BUT, SHE WASN'T REALLY MEANT TO PLAY A PART IN MY STORY SORRY, WILL IZZY FIND THE PASSWORD TO CHRIS'S SAFE AND SUCCEED IN MAKING BELGIUM POPULAR, WILL GEOFF AVENGE BRIDGETTE AND WILL SADIE CARRY ON WITH HER STRONG START, WELL YOU WILL HAVE TO READ NEXT CHAPTER TO FIND OUT, REMEMBER TO FOLLOW AND REVIEW, XD.**

**PLACING:**

**BRIDGETTE: 24th**

**[1] A parody of Usain Bolt.**


	3. Trivial Boredom

Chris McLean stood on the dock once more, "Hey viewing world." his cheeky grin was ever present on his face, "Last time on Total Drama Back To The Island, we had a lovely four course meal, well me and chef did, the campers had a more _robust _menu and boy was it funny, the Gophers won a pool party and Owen was nice enough to share with the Bass, Gwen and Duncan broke up, even after a tear jerking musical performance by Duncan, and at the first elimination ceremony of the season, Bridgette was sent packing, what challenges are in store today, and which team will win, find out on Total Drama, BACK TO THE ISLAND!"

* * *

In the boys cabin Duncan was still crying over Gwen, Geoff was patting him on the back as he sobbed into his hands,

"It's going to be ok dude, don't worry."

"NO IT'S NOT GOING TO BE OK." Duncan screamed, "Two people who I loved dumped me I am alone, at least you have Bridgette and even Doris has Leshawna." Duncan pointed out, his voice all choked from the crying. He slumped his head back on the pillow and let out more choked sobs.

* * *

In the girls side Gwen was pondering whether she really had made the right decision, Leshawna was sitting next to her, trying to help her decide,

"Y'all listen here now gurl, that if he is lookin at some other gurls titties then he obviously ain't all that interested in you ya know." she explained.

"Yeah I guess you're, thanks Leshawna." Gwen got up and left the cabin to go get some breakfast from Chef in the cafeteria.

* * *

Already inside the cafeteria was Ezekiel, happily eating some grey slop on his own at a table, Gwen entered and got some of the slop available and plonked down next to Ezekiel, slowly eating her breakfast as they sat in silence, "Hey Ezekiel." Gwen greeted, she never really talked with the prairie boy before and took this opportunity to get to know him better.

"Hey Gwen." he greeted looking up from his slop to look at her face, they sat in awkward silence for a little longer,

"So not the first one voted hm, that's good." they chuckled together,

"Yeah I guess so eh,"

"So, Zeke, you got your eye on any of the ladies?" Gwen said, a sly smirk across her face,

"Might doo, noot sayin eh" he replied with an equally sly smirk, "Well I must be off then eh." he walked off leaving Gwen sitting on the bench still eating slop until Duncan walked in and sat across from her, making her shuffle uncomfortably and eat quicker than usual.

"Hey Gwen." he sounded a lot cooler than he felt, on the inside he had tears threatening to pour down his face, and the current breakfast he had eaten to just come right back up, all those times in court really paid off,

"Hi, Duncan." she was just as cool, a calm and collected look on her face as she finished her breakfast and placed the tray on the side for Chef to deal with. She left the cafeteria, unbeknownst to her that once again Duncan had small tears in his eyes. A loud sound reverberated around camp, an air horn, courtesy of Chris,

"Campers, to the amphitheater now." the sadist demanded as the teens dragged themselves to the location of the talent show from season one. On arrival the stage was covered with twenty-three podiums. Chris appeared from behind a curtain, "Hey campers, welcome to the amphitheater, again, this challenge will test your memory and your knowledge of the other campers, and maybe yourself. Today's challenge is a trivia quiz on Total Drama, now the teams, I have decided to pair you up into boys and girls, making the girls side one person down but according to girls, they are smarter than us boys so you should be fine. Duncan rolled up his sleeves,

"You did not just call us guys dumb, I dare ya to say it to my face." He began to advance on the host, but was held back by DJ and Geoff,

"Calm down dude," Geoff said holding one of his arms behind his back, Duncan seemed to relax and stand with the guys, Chris who had been hiding behind a podium gingerly stepped out. "As I was saying, the girls will step behind the pink podiums, the boys the blue ones.

"Stereotypical," Noah muttered as he took his place behind a blue podium along with all the others standing behind their respective podium.

"Campers, first question, in Total Drama history, who was on the most teams." everyone scratched their heads in confusion, until a buzzer went off. "Harold,"

"Izzy, Izzy was in two teams during Total Drama, she was originally placed on the Killer Bass but then switched to the Screaming Gophers so Katie could be with Sadie, during Total Drama Action she was on the Killer grips but was eliminated but came back, still on the Grips, in World Tour she was originally on Team Amazon but then swapped to Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot so she could be with Owen and Sierra with Cody hence why Izzy was on five teams, the most of anyone." Harold rambled on about Izzy's teams unaware Chris had fallen asleep and once awoken by chef shaking him when Harold finished,

"And point to the boys, in Total Drama Island who were the final five." Harold slammed on the buzzer again,

"My luscious Leshawna placed fifth because of the other campers stupidity, including my own by saying her name as a vote towards her elimination and some dirty tricks by you Chris, next was my arch-enemy Duncan who was eliminated in fourth place because Chef decided to eliminate him, good on you Chef, next was Heather who came third because during the challenge she refused to get her hair shaved by kicking the razor from Chef's hand which still shaved off her hair and causing her elimination. The final two is Gwen and Owen who had to compete in some messed up relay and Gwen placed second despite being in the lead the whole time because Izzy and Lindsay made brownies which made Owen run really fast because he wanted the brownies hence Owen was the winner and last member of the final five in Total Drama Island." He finished his long-winded monologue and Chris once more had to be woken up by Chef,

"Another point to the Boys, next question, In the challenge in the Serengeti plains, who was incapacitated due to Sierra," Heather slammed on the buzzer,

"It was Cody because Sierra force fed him some weird creepy tea from a weird creepy Chinese lady and he went into a comatose state,"

"Thank you heather for an answer that didn't bore me to sleep, point to the girls, next question, according to our official stats who has competed in the most episodes," Harold once again answered,

"Heather, she competed in twenty-six episodes during Total Drama Island, fourteen in Total Drama Action and twenty-two in Total Drama World Tour totaling to sixty-two episodes of Heather, in second though was Owen who competed in twenty-seven episodes during Total Drama Island, and sixteen in both of the subsequent seasons, totaling to fifty-nine, third is Duncan who was in twenty-five episodes during Island, twenty-four during Action and only nine in World Tour, totaling him up to fifty-eight, only one episode behind Owen,"

"Harold I only asked for the person who competed in the most, but I will still award a point cause you did give me the right answer, so the points are Boys: three, Girls:one.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**HEATHER: Once again I am the only one who has done some good in this challenge for my team, but dorko is so boring with his monologues on contestants, though two of them did involve me.**

**DUNCAN: Doris needs to shut up some times it is really irritating listening to him talk about his stored up knowledge of our lives, I would expect Sierra to know all this though, why hasn't she answered any,**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

The answer to Duncan's question was Sierra was to busy babying Cody on the other side to where she was meant to be, allowing Harold to flew his knowledge of the people he has know for five years, "Next question," Chris started, "In Total Drama, Revenge of the Island, who indirectly got Anne Maria eliminated, as per usual, Harold slammed his fist on the buzzer,

"Ezekiel, he was still in his strange Gollum-like state and was in a mine with Anne Maria, he offered her multiple gifts because he fancied her and was giving her loads of random things, she still wasn;t interested though and then he gave her a diamond which wooed her over but when he tried to give her a kiss she rejected him and ran off somewhere, leaving a broken-hearted Zeke, at the elimination ceremony Brick was eliminated and she quit because of her Diamond, Chris then revealed it was cubic zirconium so worthless, she had already seated herself on the hurl of shame and before she could retract her quit she was flung away, hence Ezekiel indirectly caused Anne Maria's elimination.

"Once again, Harold gets the question right but bores us to death in the process, next question, In the Total Drama Action episode, Super Hero-Id, what was each contestants superhero persona," guess who slammed on the buzzer, it was Harold who began another boring monologue

"The first superhero ID was Beth and Lumber Woman who could talk to plants, but she couldn't really and then was Justin who just ripped of BETH AS Timber Man,"

"I resent that." Justin said, interrupting Harold,

"As I was saying, Timber Man threw wood shaving as his power, LAME, then came myself as Captain Alberta who could produce powerful farts after eating some burrito, then it was Duncan with his lamo persona, The All-Seeing Eye, who could predict the future, next was Courtney who called herself the Human Cricket and using two sandpaper boards created a really annoying noise, then it was Leshawna as, Super Aqua Chick who threw water balloons and finally Lindsay who was Wonder Woman, who according to her wondered a lot and had an invisible jet."

**TO SAVE YOU FROM MORE HAROLD MONOLOGUES HERE IS A MONTAGE OF HAROLD'S MONOLOGUES AND THE OCCASIONAL ANSWER FROM OTHER CONTESTANTS**

We see Harold once again going on about a subject and multiple bored contestants and Chris awarding a lot of points to the boys, and Gwen answering a question, Lindsay answering a question, about her lip gloss, and Izzy saying some random drivel, more Harold monologues and then to now,

"Campers, the quiz is over, and the winners are, The...GIRLS!" He exclaimed as the girls cheered for joy, except a confused Courtney,

"Wait, how did we win?"

"Because I decided that every time Harold bored me with a monologue I would subtract points hence why the boys have minus two hundred and ninety-eight points and the girls have six, making them the winners, Courtney shrugged and celebrated with her team, glaring at Gwen as she did. This caused protest from the boys, especially Duncan who rolled up his sleeves again,

"Come on then McLean, Doris quite obviously won it for us." He had to be held back by the combined efforts of DJ and Geoff. Chris was hiding behind his quizmaster podium as Chef came in and sat on Duncan, effectively quelling his attack on the host,

"Thanks Chef, Girls you win the luxury cabin, oh yeah, you only win the cabin if I say so, and Boys I shall see you at the elimination ceremony tonight, don't be late." He walked off as Chef got off of Duncan and helped him up, Duncan muttered his thanks and looked at Gwen who was walking off, he decided to follow her to her cabin's.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**DUNCAN: What I still love her and there may be a chance she will take me back.**

**HAROLD: Gosh, Chris is such a moron, just because I gave him some extra information we lost, loser**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Duncan had followed Gwen back to her cabin and got down on his knees, "Gwen, please take me back, I was wrong and I know it please please please get back together with me." He pleaded,

DING DING DING, "Song time, this time with Duncan and Gwen,"

Cue music to Black Eyed Peas, Shut Up"

Gwen: _Shut up  
Just shut up  
Shut up [3x]  
Shut it up, just shut up  
Shut up  
Just shut up  
Shut up [3x]  
Shut it up, just shut up_

_We try to take it slow  
But we're still losin control  
And we try to make it work  
But it still ends up the worst  
And I'm craaazzzy  
For tryin to be your laaadddy  
I think I'm goin crazy_

Dunacn: Girl,_ me and you were just fine (you know)  
We wine and dine  
Did them things that couples do when in love (you know)  
Walks on the beach and stuff (you know)  
Things that lovers say and do  
I love you boo, I love you too  
I miss you a lot, I miss you even more  
That's why I flew you out  
When we was on tour  
But then something got out of hand  
You start yellin when I'm with my friends  
Even though I had legitimate reasons (bull ****)  
You know I have to make them dividends (bull ****)  
How could you trust our private lives girl  
That's why you don't believe my lies  
And quit this lecture_

Gwen:_Shut it up, just shut up_  
_We try to take it slow  
But we're still losin control  
And we try to make it work  
But it still ends up the worst  
And I'm craaazzzy  
For tryin to be your laaadddy  
I think I'm goin crazy_

Duncan:

Why does he know she gotta move so fast  
Love is progress if you could make it last  
Why is it that you just lose control  
Every time you agree on takin it slow  
So why does it got to be so damn tough  
Cause fools in lust could never get enough of love  
Showin him the love that you be givin  
Changing up your livin  
For a lovin transistion  
Girl lip so much she tryin to get you to listen  
Few mad at each other has become our tradition  
You yell, I yell, everybody yells  
Got neighbors across the street sayin  
Who the hell?  
Who the hell?  
What the hell's going down?  
Too much of the bickering  
Kill it with the sound and.

Gwen: _Shut it up, just shut up  
__We try to take it slow  
But we're still losin control  
And we try to make it work  
But it still ends up the worst  
And I'm craaazzzy  
For tryin to be your laaadddy  
I think I'm goin crazy__  
_

Duncan:_Girl our love is dyin_  
_Why did you stop tryin_  
_I never been a quitah_  
_But I do deserve betta_  
_Believe me I will do bad_  
_Let's forget the past_  
_And let's start this new plan_  
_Why? 'cause it's the same old routine_  
_And then next week I hear them scream_  
_Girl I know you're tired of the things they say_  
Gwen_:You're damn right_  
_'cause I heard them lame dame excuses just_ _yesterday_  
Duncan_: That was a different thing_  
Gwen:_ No it ain't_  
Duncan_: That was a different thing_  
Gwen:_ No it ain't_  
Duncan_: That was a different thing_  
Gwen_:It was the same damn thing_  
_Same *** excuses_  
_Boy you're usless_  
_Whhoooaaaa_

___Shut it up, just shut up  
__We try to take it slow  
But we're still losin control  
And we try to make it work  
But it still ends up the worst  
And I'm craaazzzy  
For tryin to be your laaadddy  
I think I'm goin crazy_

_Stop the talking baby_  
_Or I start walking baby (x12)_

Duncan: _Is that all there is (x12)_

"Yes Duncan, that's all there is." Gwen walked off again, into her cabin and shutting the door,

"Well, there goes my chance with Gwen." he walked off again, new tears appearing in his teal eyes, he walked into his cabin and collapsed onto the bed as Chris used his megaphone to shout through the whole camp

"BOYS TO THE CAMPFIRE CEREMONY NOW!" Duncan grumbled, dragging himself up and trudging along, his arms scuffling across the ground as he went with the other boys and threw himself onto one of the stumps, Chris stood behind his can and held a tray of eleven marshmallows,

"Twelve of you sit before me, on this tray is a symbol of life, but there are only eleven life symbols, only eleven of you will be given the life to continue on with the competition one of you will board the boat of losers and be vanquished to the Playa des Losers, the first marshmallows go to, Alejandro, Geoff, Noah and Ezekiel," The four boys caught their treats and Noah had to surpress himself from jumping for joy, this was his first ever symbol of immunity, "Trent, DJ, Tyler and Cody." the next four caught theirs and ate them quietly, "Justin and Owen," Owen excitedly caught his and Justin's marshmallows in his mouth, "Duncan and Harold, you are in the bottom two, one of you, everyone voted for minus themselves, the other, the other person voted for, with eleven votes against you, Harold you are the second person voted of the Island, goodbye.

Harold got up from his seat and walked the dock, but not before Leshawna pulled him into a hug, and Harold smiled before boarding the boat as it drove off into the distance,

"BYE DORIS!" Duncan shouted out to Harold who scowled at the delinquent, despite no one seeing due to him disappearing in the darkness,

"Thus Harold is the second voted off, well he did lose the challenge and bore us all with his constant yammering, will Ezekiel carry on keeping in, will Geoff keep on going for Bridgette and will Duncan ever get over Gwen, find out next time on Total Drama BACK TO THE ISLAND!"

* * *

OK SO HAROLD IS THE NEXT OFF THE ISLAND, I GUESS EVERYONE SAW IT COMING AS HE DID LOSE THE CHALLENGE, NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE FUN TO WRITE AND INCLUDES ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE SONGS, I DO NOT OWN TOTAL DRAMA OR ANY SONGS USED DURING THIS PIECE OF FICTION WORK LA DE DA DE DA, SEE YA GUYS NEXT CHAPTER XD

**PLACINGS:**

**BRIDGETTE: 24th**

**HAROLD: 23rd.**


	4. Dodgebrawl, Revisited

"Last time on Total Drama Back To The Island, the campers had a trivia challenge about previous seasons, Harold answered pretty much every question with a long and boring monologue, prompting me to make the boys the losers because I subtracted points from them, in the end Harold got the boot, no surprises there and Gwen got moody at Duncan and sang to him, and boy was it cold, what will the challenge be and who will get a all expenses paid trip on the boat of losers, find out this time on Total Drama, BACK TO THE ISLAND!"

(Cue theme song, I wanna be famous) Exactly the same as original except Alejandro catches Heather when she falls of the waterfall, for her to push him off and Sierra appears behind Cody when he appears behind Gwen and Duncan this time and hugs him to death.

* * *

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Chris's signature air horn boomed throughout camp, causing all the campers to rise up from their slumbers, those sleeping on the bottom bunks slamming there head painfully on the bunk above, groans were heard as campers dragged themselves out of bed and to the cafeteria, slowly eating the cold, tasteless slop that was breakfast, KAtie and Sadie were sitting with Noah,

"Hey Noah." Katie giggled as the cynic read his book,

"Hi Katie," He deadpanned as she giggled more,

"Whatcha reading?" She asked, giggling obnoxiously once more.

"Oooh Izzy knows," She flipped through the air and began babbling about Noah's book secret, "He is actually reading Twilight and has seen all the movies and his favorite character is Jacob because he like it when he takes his top off, wait no the last part is me but he's reading Twilight." Izzy finished as Noah jumped on her but failed to silence the babbling crazy red head. Katie giggled more,

"I like Twilight too Noah, I guess we have stuff in common," She and Sadie giggled as Noah flushed a bright red as the other campers burst out laughing at his favorite book choice, he ran out of the room and locked himself in the confessional

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**NOAH: Oh no now Sierra will post this on her multiple blogs about me and the world will know my love of Twilight and then my life will be over. *he held his head in his hands and sighed* Well I guess it won't make me any less popular at school though, but my siblings will never let me live it down.**

**IZZY: What they wanted to know what he was reading,**

**KATIE: I might find Noah slightly cute, but I am not gonna say for sure.**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Chris walked into the cafeteria, hearing all about Noah's shocking secret. He began to laugh hysterically with the other contestants sans, Izzy who was happily eating Chef's slop of a meal. "Campers," Chris said after recovering from his Laughing fit, "Today's challenge will solve the age old battle of Geeks and Bullies, today you guys will play a challenge you guys already have before, today we shall play DODGEBALL!" Chris shouted as the campers groaned,

"How cliché" Heather pointed out with nods from other people,

"Yeah well you try thinking of original challenges for five whole seasons huh." He retorted, Heather just rolled her eyes and put her tray in the bowl and walked off,

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**HEATHER: Chris is really getting on my nerves, and it is the third challenge and I still don't have an alliance,**

**CHRIS: Five seasons I have had to think up original challenges, and what do I get for it, the wrath of twenty-four teens because I reused one idea once *begins to cry slightly before getting rid of the tears and exiting***

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"As I was saying, meet me in the gymnasium in ten minutes." He walked off as the other contestants filed out, Ezekiel was at the back of the que, an unknown force pulled him into the confessional on the way over there

* * *

**KINDA CONFESSIONAL**

**HEATHER&EZEKIEL: **

**Heather: Listen homeschool I need an alliance and I want you to be in it.**

**Ezekiel: And why should I?**

**Heather: Because if you do I can guarantee you safe passage to the merge,**

**Ezekiel: *Is facing away from her* Ok Heather, but noo funny business K.**

**Heather: Fine, no funny business, *Gets up and leaves***

**Ezekiel: *Is blushing a deep red before exiting***

**END KINDA CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

At the gymnasium all the twenty-two were in a huddle, Chris came bursting through the door like a gym coach with the shorts and a Total Drama sports shirt, a silver whistle on a chain around his neck, "Today you will be sorted into Bullies and people who probably wouldn't bully anyone, these are my shallow opinions on you all so don't take offence. So on the Bullies is Heather, Alejandro, Courtney, Duncan, Noah, Leshawna, Justin, Sierra, Eva, Lindsay, and Geoff, and yes Noah is a bully because he always bullies me, and on the Geeks is Beth, Cody, Gwen, Ezekiel, DJ, Izzy, Katie, Sadie, Tyler, Trent and Owen." Chris blew his whistle and the two teams organised themselves onto the court, determination in the bullies faces, terror in most of the geeks,

The whistle sounded again, signalling the start of the match, Eva and Duncan ran forwards and grabbed a ball each and throwing them at Beth and DJ respectively, both dodged to the side, skidding on the floor as Cody quickly let off his static ball trick, throwing at Geoff who ducked underneath the rubber object, only for it to spin round and hit him on the butt, causing him to be out of the challenge. Eva picked up another ball and threw it at Gwen who got hit square in the face, she fell backwards onto the floor and dragged herself to the bleachers, cheering on her team.

Sierra was busy admiring Cody she didn't see the ball thrown by Izzy at her face, she screeched as the ball impacted and walked to the bleachers next to Geoff, she was still making googly eyes at Cody as he threw a curveball at Noah and hit him on the back of his large head, he however missed the sneakball thrown at him by Heather, who celebrated at getting out one of the other teams better players, Alejandro picked up a ball and threw it at Beth who caught it, causing the Latino to be out and Gwen to come back in, Beth then proceeded to pelt the ball at a certain CIT who dodged to the left causing the ball to subsequently smack Lindsay in the face who was in confusion about the whole challenge,

"Wait, so I'm out," she mused as Chef screamed at her,

"Stupid Blond girl you're out," Lindsay than walked to the bleachers and sat with Geoff, Sierra, Noah and Alejandro.

"FOR LINDSAY!" Tyler screamed as he pelted the other team with dodgeballs despite failing every time and also failing to realise that beating up the other team could cause the bimbos elimination. The 'jock' finally managed to score a hit against Leshawna who had been pelted by a few balls previous, courtesy of Owen. She walked over to the bleachers to sit with the outs of her team, noticing the geeks dominating this match until Eva, Duncan, Courtney and Heather pelting balls at Beth, DJ, Trent and Ezekiel, getting them all out as the balls connected with their bodies.

"And the score is 7-5 Geeks, scratch that 6-6." As Eva caught a ball thrown by Katie and bringing Geoff back on, he then proceeded to throw a ball at Owen who because of his large build failed to dodge, making the score 6-5 Bullies, Duncan threw a ball at Sadie who caught the ball, sending Duncan off and bringing Cody back on the court and all hell broke loose when he unleashed three curvelballs on Courtney, Eva and Justin,all of them being struck out, leaving only Heather, Geoff on the pitch for the bullies and Izzy,Sadie,Cody, Gwen and Tyler on the pitch for the geeks. Heather threw a ball at Tyler who tripped on his own shoelaces, saving him from the ball but hitting Cody unexpectedly bringing him out again, Geoff caught a ball thrown by Sadie bringing Sierra back in who refused to hit any of the team because she didn't want Cody to be risked going home so was easily hit by a ball from Gwen. The score was 3-3 Gwen, Izzy and Tyler vs Geoff andHeather, that was until Izzy unleashed a flurry of rubber at Heather who couldn't dodge the psychos assault, she left the battlefield battered and bruised. Geoff for the Bullies against the Geeks of Gwen,Izzy and Tyler.

Geoff, with a dodgeball in both hands took out the weakest link, Tyler pelting him with the balls, he managed to dodge the first one but the second clipped him on the foot, making the girls the last two on the team. Taking the offensive role, Gwen and Izzy mimicked his strategy and attacked together, hitting Geoff with two rubber spheres each,

"THE GEEKS WIN!" Chris announced as the geeks cheered "Time for round two but first,"

DING DING DING, "MUSIC TIME AND Gwen and Courtney will sing the first verse while Sierra and Cody the seconf verse, the rest should be simple,

* * *

Cue music to Jessie J, who's laughing now.

Gwen: _Mummy they call me names  
They wouldn't let me play  
I'd go home sit and cry almost everyday._

Courtney: _Hey Gwendolyn you look like an alien,_

_With green skin you don't fit in this playpen_

Cody: _Yeah they pull my hair  
They took away my chair  
I'd keep it in and pretend I didn't care_

Sierra: _Hey Cody you're so funny  
You've got teeth just like Bugs Bunny._

Geeks:_ Oh, so you think you know me now  
Have you forgotten how  
You would make me feel  
When you dragged my spirit down?  
But thank you for the pain  
It made me raise my game  
And I'm still rising, I'm still rising_

_So make your jokes  
Go for broke  
Blow your smoke  
You're not alone  
But who's laughing now  
But who's laughing now  
So raise the bar  
Hit me hard  
Play your cards  
Be a star  
But who's laughing now  
But who's laughing now_

_Cause I'm in L.A  
You think I've made my fame  
FB makes us friends  
When you only really know my name_

Bullies: _"Oh Jessie, we knew you could make it  
I've got a track and I'd love you to take it"_

Geeks: _So now because I'm signed  
You think my pockets lined  
4 years now and I'm still waiting in the line_

Bullies: '_Oh Jessie, I saw you on YouTube_  
_I tagged old photos from when we was at school'_

Geeks: _Oh, so you think you know me now_  
_Have you forgotten how_  
_You would make me feel_  
_When you dragged my spirit down?_  
_But thank you for the pain_  
_It made me raise my game_  
_And I'm still rising, I'm still rising_

_Yeah Yeah_

_So make your jokes_  
_Go for broke_  
_Blow your smoke_  
_You're not alone_  
_But who's laughing now_  
_But who's laughing now_  
_So raise the bar_  
_Hit me hard_  
_Play your cards_  
_Be a star_  
_But who's laughing now_  
_But who's laughing now_

_Gwennie  
She broke out of the box  
Swallowed your pride  
You got that ego cough  
Let the haters hate  
You're like way too late  
Click click to see I got a message from you_

Bullies: _"Hola, I'm proud of you"_  
_"Oh my God babe your voice is like wow! "_

Geeks: _My reply, who's laughing now?_

_Oh, so you think you know me now  
Have you forgotten how  
You would make me feel  
When you drag my spirit down?  
But thank you for the pain  
It made me raise my game  
And I'm still rising, I'm still rising  
Yeah_

_So make your jokes_  
_Go for broke_  
_Blow your smoke_  
_You're not alone_  
_But who's laughing now_  
_But who's laughing now_  
_So raise the bar_  
_Hit me hard_  
_Play your cards_  
_Be a star_  
_But who's laughing now_  
_But who's laughing now_

_So make your jokes_  
_Go for broke_  
_Blow your smoke_  
_You're not alone_  
_But who's laughing now_

_(Hey, hey. Who's laughing?)_  
_But who's laughing now_

_(Who's laughing?)_  
_So raise the bar_  
_Hit me hard_  
_Play your cards_  
_Be a star_  
_But who's laughing now_

_Who's laughing, laughing now?_

_Who's laughing, laughing now?_  
_Who's laughing, laughing now?_  
_Who's laughing, laughing now?_

_Who's laughing, laughing now?_  
_Who's laughing, laughing now?_

_Who's laughing, laughing now?_

* * *

"Nice, now on with the dodgeball," Chris said blowing his whistle and the contestants lined up again and Chris blew the whistle a second time and some contestants swarmed the middle line, Eva threw a ball at Katie who was hit in the stomach, winding her and sending her to the bleachers, Sadie retaliated fiercely getting out Noah and Lindsay with ease. Leshawna picked up a ball that had rolled to her feet and threw it at Tyler and hitting him in the shin, DJ and Courtney deflected each others throw, causing them to take out Owen and Heather respectively, Geoff threw a ball at Ezekiel who caught it, sending off Geoff while simultaneously bringing Katie back onto the field. 9-7 Geeks. Duncan grabbed a ball and chucked it at Gwen forcefully, hitting her in her face and sending her to the bleachers.

Zeke threw it at Courtney who dodged to the side but was hit by a ball thrown by Izzy. 8-6 Geeks, Katie and Sadie were thrown out by Alejandro and Duncan, leveling the score to 6-6. Eva hurled a ball in the direction of Cody and luckily managed to hit him but not before a curveball was thrown at Sierra who cried at Cody hitting her out. 5-5. Eva had caught a ball thrown by DJ and brought Noah back who had decided to compete in this game and threw a ball at Ezekiel who caught it, sending Noah off as quick as he came on and brought Tyler back who grabbed all the balls on his side and performed his spinning dodgeball move of death, hitting Alejandro but also Beth, bringing the score 4-4 , Duncan attacked Ezekiel, finally sending the prairie boy out as Izzy retaliated with a ball to Duncan's kiwis, he hobbled off the field and screamed in pain as the players ignored him and kept their eye on all the balls. 3-3 Izzy, Tyler and Trent vs Leshawna, Eva and Justin. Trent threw a ball at Justin who dodged to protect his beautiful face and threw one back at the musician who was hit in the chest slamming into the wall/window painfully and being eliminated from this game, Izzy threw a ball at Leshawna who was hit as she reached down to pick up a ball on her butt, Eva and Justin both threw a ball each at Izzy who despite her acrobatic abilities was hit mid-flip by Justin's ball.

With Tyler the only one left for the Geeks, he squared off against the muscular girl and the narcissistic model, a dodgeball in each of his hands, he attacked Justin who was painfully was hit in the face,

"AHHH MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" He screamed running to the bleachers with his head in his hands crying about sporting a black eye as well as another small bruise. Eva glared at Tyler causing him to whimper in fear, his heart racing and his ears on overload from his teams cheering, Eve had a ball in her hands and she threw it full power at the red tracksuit wearing guy. He let out a small yelp and ducked, the ball flying fast over his head as he picked up all four balls which were on his side of the pitch now, and unleashed his spinning dodgeball death spin of death, the balls all managing to find their target, Eva. She slumped to the ground defeated as the Geeks cheered wildly, lifting Tyler into the air and parading around the gym, especially in front of the other team.

"THE GEEKS WIN, AND I KNOW TYLER ISN'T A GEEK BUT THE AUTHOR WANTED HIM TO WIN AS WELL AS THE GEEKS SO LIVE WITH IT, Bullies, meet me at the campfire in an hour, Geeks, because I can't be bothered for a third game to see if you win the luxury cabin, go ahead and take it.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**HEATHER: Oh no, looks like my team lost and I know I can get at least two people to vote with me on who I want gone.**

**EZEKIEL: I knoo being in an alliance with Heather is risky but I joost can't help it,eh, she is just so captivating.**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

The geeks were still having a party in the honor of Tyler who was stoked at winning the challenge for his team and felt that it might just secure him a place further in the competition. Gwen and Ezekiel were having a nice conversation in the pool while DJ was sitting on the edge dangling in his toes petting bunny and feeding him a lettuce leaf. Cody was enjoying a night away from Sierra in the luxury cabin, playing his DS and trying to beat the elite four in Pokémon White 2 he was going through it all in preparation for the sequel. Tyler and Izzy were playing a harmless game of basketball until he tried copying Izzy's flawless slam dunk and bringing the hoop down with him crushed under the metal, Izzy lifted it over and he chuckled but winced in pain at what he thought was a broken rib. Chris called for a medic and Chef came on in a skimpy nurse's outfit and took Tyler away as the other campers looked away in disgust and tried to hold in their dinner which had consisted of grey slop, again.

* * *

**AMAZING BONFIRE CEREMONY WHERE SOMEONE WILL GO HOME.**

"Bullies, you just got poned by geeks," Chris jeered as the team looked embarrassed at their defeat, "And by Tyler no less." He began to laugh hysterically from behind his can with the plate of marshmallows, "There are eleven of you sitting before me, and only ten marshmallows on my plate, one of you is going home,

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**HEATHER: I got Sierra and Alejandro to vote with me on this person, as well as Geoff and Duncan so I are they going, yeah they are.**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"The first marshmallow goes to Eva," The muscular girl caught her treat, "Duncan, Sierra and Geoff." The three caught theirs, "Courtney, Alejandro, Lindsay." Four people were left and looked extremely nervous, with the exception of Heather who looked as cool as a cucumber, "Heather." She smirked at her target and sat back eating her marshmallow slowly. "Leshawna." She caught her marshmallow and looked at the other two guys, she wasn't really a fan of either of them so who left didn't bother her. "Noah, Justin, both of you are in the bottom two, and the person going home is...

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... NEITHER OF YOU!" He began to laugh as the faces of the two went from shocked to relieved, "It was a reward challenge, hahaha." the two cheered with their team as secretly Heather fumed,

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**HEATHER: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I will get him, mark my words I will.**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Everyone celebrated no-ones departure all into the night as one by one people dropped off leaving only Heather and Alejandro.

"Ah Chica, I guess today Chris put a stopper in your plans, next time, mi amor" Alejandro said dreamily staring into the raven haired girl he was holding,

"Yeah I guess so Alejandro, but you really need to fix that nose it is so ugly." She walked to her cabin leaving Alejandro holding his nose,

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**ALEJANDRO:Oh you shady Brazilian surgeon when I get my hands on you, he begins to make throttling motions with his hands and some other things unable to be revealed in this fanfiction**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Chris was standing on the dock as he did at the end of every episode, "So no one is eliminated this week, the challenge was definitely adrenaline fueled though wasn't it and a surprise win from Tyler, good job. Will Heather eliminate who she wants to, will Al ever get his nose fixed, it's so big and has anyone see my hairgel? Well I guess we will find out next episode won't we, or will we. See you next time on Total Drama: BACK TO THE ISLAND!"

* * *

So no one bites the dust today, I felt the need to add some of those in there, good on you Tyler, I am proud. Ezekiel and Katie both seem to have crushes, will I pair them up though hmmm, Will Gwen and Duncan get back together, it could happen, I might just make it happen. See ya guys next chapter XD.


	5. Hendecathlon, Part 1

Chris stood on the dock of shame, ready to start the show as always, "Last week on Total Drama Back to the Island, we had a dodgeball game and boy was it fun, we had an amazing cover of a song and a surprise victor, Tyler won the match with a shocking move that managed to take down the woman behemoth Eva, well done Tyler. No one left because I felt like it but to make it up to the contestants, I am going to make them writhe in pain and agony, MWHAHAHAHAHA,"he began to hack and cough uncontrollably before the camera transitioned to the girl's cabin

* * *

Lindsay and Beth were doing each others nails while Katie and Sadie were doing each others hair, Heather was talking to Sierra about how amazing Cody was, Heather was just playing along to gain the stalkers trust, but subtly so no one realized what she was doing. "So Heather, what made you realize how amazing Cody was?"

"Well, after watching World Tour on DVD, I noticed just how nice and caring Cody was, at first I was just so blind trying to win but watching the season and the bits I never saw, opened my eyes to the amazingness of Cody." Heather lied flawlessly, only Gwen and Leshawna were suspicious of the queen bee's actions, something was definitely up.

"Since when did she actually like Cody, he never really liked her until he was forced to choose the lesser of two evils." Gwen whispered to Leshawna who had taken a seat on Gwen's bed.

"Gurl, I dunno but I suggest keeping an eye on her cause she never does anything good, except when she kneed Alejandro in the balls, oh sweet justice." the sister got up and walked over to Courtney who was making a Gwen voodoo doll, she had managed to get a hair sample and somehow a blood sample and was just finishing up the doll, "Umm, Courtney, why are you making a voodoo doll of Gwen?" Leshawna questioned the CIT,

"Because she's a boyfriend stealer, obviously."

"Courtney, you do know they broke up right."

"Yes, but it doesn't mean I can't hate that Gothic bitch." she hissed at Leshawna

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL:**

**IZZY: So I found Chris's hair gel and I have two plans to use it, but if I say on camera than Chris or Cheffie might see it, Izzy out." She disappeared down the toilet and the camera stays until Noah pops his head round,**

**NOAH: Izzy are you down the toilet?**

**IZZY: Yep**

**NOAH: Well ok you have fun down there.**

**IZZY: Oooooo a nickel**

**NOAH: *shakes his head before leaving the confessional***

**HEATHER: Oooh I will get him off of this show I swear, *She begins pacing in the confessional***

**IZZY: Hey Heather *her head has popped out of the toilet,***

**HEATHER: *screams and runs out***

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Heather had met up with Alejandro, Ezekiel and Sierra, the latter she had managed to convince to joining there alliance, in the forest.

"Ok so last week I didn't get him out because Chris decided to save that guy by eliminating absolutely no one, this week we have to get him out, the only way this is not possible is if he is not on any of our teams, and Chris is really unlikely to do that so that is really all I needed to say, any questions from anyone?" Ezekiel raised his hand, "Yes Zeke,"

"If he is noot on any of our teams what doo we doo?" he asked,

"It's simple homeschool, we wait till next week, unless his team vote him off anyway, this meeting is over, see you guys at the challenge." Sierra and Ezekiel left while Heather made a move to as well, she made a slight gasp as Alejandro pulled her down into his lap a sly smirk on his face, "Well well well, if you wanna play that game," She then kissed on the lips as the two began to make out, deep within the forest, or at least they tried to, Heather was stabbed in the eye by Alejandro's massive nose, "You need to get that nose sorted out." she stated before walking off, leaving a slightly embarrassed Alejandro on a tree stump.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**SIERRA: Heather said that if I join the alliance that not only myself but Cody will be safe too, that means me and Cody will make it to the final two cause I have no intention of staying with Heather after the merge, she just doesn't know that.**

**ALEJANDRO: Cirujano estúpido de Brasil que no podía hacer un trabajo de la nariz de mierda [1]**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Eva and Tyler were on the beach, doing push ups together and surprisingly Tyler was almost keeping up with the girl, in the hour both had completed over 10,000 of them and were still going strong,

"So Eva," Tyler began,

"Yeah," She was concentrating on her breathing so short answers were all she was gonna give,

"Well, I was thinking how about me, you and Lindsay make an alliance, just to get slightly further in the game."

"I dunno weed, I'll think about it." she got up, collected and left Tyler still doing push ups. Tyler got up and dusted the sand off of his hands, he began to smirk as he walked to the confessionals and opened the door

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL:**

**TYLER: I dunno if Eva will join my alliance, I know Lindsay will, and maybe I could persuade Katie, Sadie and Beth might just be an extra package that comes with Lindsay, I dunno, but if I manage to get all five of them on my team, I will control over a quarter of the island, therefore guaranteeing me passage to the merge." He began to chuckle as Heather walked past the door,**

**HEATHER: Alejandro, are you in there?**

**TYLER: In a really bad Spanish accent, Ummm, yes Chica, I am in here.**

**HEATHER: Looking confused she walked away, as Tyler sighed with relief, and exited the confessional.**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

With a flick of her mocha hair Courtney was just placing the finishing touches on her Gwen doll, chuckling slightly as she put it behind her back and made the doll scratch it's nose, just as the goth did the same, not even worrying at the natural movement as the type A placed 'Gwen' under her pillow and got up and out of the room.

Inside the cafeteria Geoff was looking at a picture of Bridgette, looking into the digitalised green eyes and her smile.

"I miss you Bridge," he whispered to himself as he gave the picture a peck on the lips and placed it in his pocket and began to eat his grey slop and Chef entered the door with a wheelbarrow of assorted things, "What's that Chef?" the party boy inquired,

"Your new food," Chef replied bluntly before wheeling the wheelbarrow into the kitchen. The party boy was confused with the chef but just pushed the thoughts out of his head, he was on total drama, absolutely nothing made sense in this show, Izzy got crushed by a plane and survived and Heather managed to A) lick Owen's armpit and B) Lick grape jelly out of his belly button, **[2]** yep nothing made sense on this show. Justin walked into the lunch hall and walked over to Chef's window to get breakfast and was given what appeared to be a bag of crisps **[3]**

"Dirty Gym Sock flavored crisps!" Justin exclaimed, "The taste would ruin my tongue because it would destroy all my taste buds and then my face would shrivel up because it would taste horrible therefore ruining any modelling career I will ever have," he began to throw away his crisps before Chef's head popped out,

"I wouldn't do that, self obsessed pretty boy," he warned, "That's all the food you'll be getting." Justin had a look of conflict on his face and slowly opened the bag, gingerly placing a gym sock flavored potato snack in his mouth and making an extremely disgusted face at it,

"HOW COULD YOU EVEN FORCE US TO EAT THIS!" He shouted before Chris walked in,

"Low budget." he chuckled, "Apparently they are all the rage over in Europe." he stated as he brought a megaphone to his mouth, "CAMPERS TO THE CAFETERIA, NOW!" He shouted as Justin and Geoff held their ears in pain keeling over onto the floor, as a few contestants sauntered into the room, namely Gwen, Cody, Noah, Leshawna, Duncan, Heather and Courtney, who had a couple of tufts of teal hair hanging out of her back pocket.

"Ummm, Chris," Gwen began, pointing at the squirming boys on the floor, "What did you do to them." she looked slightly worried for the two as they grasped there ears,

"THE RINGING, MAKE IT STOP!" Geoff shouted, still covering his ears as his eyes were wide like a psychopath,

"MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!" Justin screamed with him, taking away his hands to see slight blood on his ears, the other campers looked slightly repulsed at the two as Chris had a look of worry on his face,

"MEDIC, save these boys," he shouted, genuinely concerned for there safety, he began to bite his nails as two men, dressed in green scrubs picked up the two boys and dragged them off,

"Wow Chris, genuinely concerned for those two, I'm impressed." Courtney quipped, a slight smile on her face as the host looked her,

"What those two, please, I couldn't care less about them, I'm just worried about another lawsuit." he carried on fretting till one of the green clad men came up and spoke to him. "Oh thank goodness they're alright, another lawsuit and I would not have any money for hair gel, I had to import all these weird crisps from Britain because someone stole my hair gel, making me have to cut the food budget even more so I could buy more, my hair gel costs $1000 a can, and that's the cheap crappy kind I had to buy." he patted the man on the back as the campers looked at him, appalled by the sadist.

The tension was so thick you could breathe it in, the campers glaring at Chris who looked slightly sheepish but held his glare on the person right at the front of the group, Heather, who despite not liking the boys, was horrified she had to eat these British crisps, the slop was bad enough. Chris was sweating as the queen bee gave him the death glare, after having only just getting over the nightmares of the opening day, he got the memories all back until an extremely loud CRUNCH! was heard and everyone's heads snapped to the guilty party, Owen's cheeks began to blush,

"What, they taste so good." he turned the packet to reveal the flavor 'Justin Beaver's **[4]** hair' Everyone in the room threw up a little in their mouths, sans Izzy who jumped on his shoulder and took a crisp, popping it in her mouth and smiling,

"He's right, it tastes just like Justin Beaver's hair," she laughed as she found the same flavor on the table where multiple packets had been placed for them to enjoy,

"And you know that how?" Noah asked, the redhead never ceased to amaze him,

"Well remember that time during the first season after my first elimination." the campers nodded in recollection as she carried on with her story, "Well in the woods, there was Justin all on his lonesome singing about a baby, so I went up to him and said high, but then when I ruffled his hair it came off, leaving him bald, now I had heard his hair had healing properties so I ate it to cure my athlete's foot, tasted like bad hairspray and Selena Lopez." she explained to the flabbergasted group there mouths wide open as Izzy carried on eating her JB's hair crisps.

"After that _disturbing _story from Izzy, I should probably explain today's challenge." the host began with mumbles of agreement from the contestants, "Well today is a challenge for all you people who are extremely sporty, again, we are going to be having a relay race around the island, basically a triathlon but with eleven events, I call it the... Hendecathlon!"**[5] **There were murmurs of confusion as Chris struck a dramatic pose for the camera, "There will be eleven events, first is a swim to Boney Island, followed by a ride on a rabid beaver up to the mountain followed by a climb up said mountain, next you shall handglide over to this island, take a bike around the island and then perform a military style obstacle course, you shall then drag these heavy rocks up to the top of Mt. Wawanakwa, followed then by jumping off of said cliff and a swim to the beach, performed by the same person, the next person will hurdle over these hurdles, then the next person will answer a trivia question given to them by my French cousin, Pierre," there was a skinny person who looked exactly like Chris but with a beret on and a striped black and white long sleeved shirt. "And finally a run around the ten mile island, twice."

He finished explaining and all the campers were slightly taken back, this was going to be a long challenge. "Now the matter of teams." he smiled as all the campers prayed in their minds that Eva was on their team, "On the first team is... Katie, Noah, Lindsay, Sadie, Ezekiel, Alejandro, Justin, Gwen, DJ, Courtney and Eva," he finished as those campers cheered while the others looked like they had already accepted defeat, nobody beats Eva in an athletic challenge, except Tyler who had got lucky in the last challenge. "That means the other team is, Geoff, Beth, Sierra, Cody, Heather, Leshawna, Izzy, Owen, Trent, Tyler and Duncan" the teams all bunched together, "Ok so team one," he pointed to Eva's team, "Are the Track Stars," he threw them a red banner with a man running alongside a woman, "And team two," he pointed to the others, "Are now called the Track Fails." he threw them a green banner with a man who was tripping over, "Ok so set yourself into who goes in what position, you have two minutes."

Eva had organised her team into a small huddle, "Ok guys, we have a reasonable team, and so what I was thinking was if Katie did the swimming because she was pretty good from what I saw during the playa,"

"OMG, like thanks so much Eva," Katie gushed as the brute woman just grunted a your welcome at the skinny BFF,

"Who made you in charge," Courtney challenged, hands on her hips,

"Just shut up for once Courtney, Eva is the most athletically gifted on this team so just let her deal with it," Gwen moaned at the mocha haired girl,

"Shut it Boyfriend Stealer, but I guess Eva is better at sports than me, but it doesn't mean I'm agreeing with you, what you said had no opinion on my choice," she retorted as the goth hiffed before Eva carried on,

"Justin, seen as you are good with animals and also won't have to do work, you deal with the beaver," the model, after being brought back from the infirmary nodded, "Ezekiel, I say you do the climbing because you are still pretty agile from your feral state, Gwen, you do the hang gliding, Sadie, you take the bike ride, Courtney, you do the military course, DJ, if you do the heavy rocks, Lindsay, you take the jump and swim, Alejandro will take the hurdles and Noah the trivia, leaving me to do the run, got it,"

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**COURTNEY: I know I actually let someone else take charge but Eva was better suited to this challenge then me, I was not agreeing with Gwen, just using my common sense,**

**GWEN: I swear if Courtney calls me something like Boyfriend Stealer or Boyfriend Kisser etc I will personally A) Vote her off and B) when I myself am voted off or win and she makes a snide comment I will rip her to shreds, I've had it with her**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Meanwhile, with the fails Heather had organised her team, "Right guys, I think that Leshawna should do the beginning swim because she's pretty quick in the water and no one can deny that, right," Everyone nodded at the queen bee "Ok so next I say Beth because she is all good with smelly animals,"

"I resent that, but it's true," Beth stated as Heather smirked,

"See, I'm always right, Izzy, I guess you do the climbing cause you do that and stuff, Geoff, you take the hanglider, Sierra, you take the bike ride and Duncan, you do the military course, Owen, you must be able to do the rocks because you are pretty strong, Tyler, you do the jump and swim, I will do the hurdles, Cody do the trivia and Trent, you do the run ok, now I know we are up against the man-woman but she has some pretty brain dead people and dumb people, if we get a killer head start then Trent should be able to quickly outrun her if he gets a good twenty minutes half an hour, yeah," she looked over at Trent, a brow raised,

"NO, I WILL DO THE HURDLES!" he screamed at the queen bee, she was taken aback by his sudden outburst but put her death glare in action

"And why should I let you do that?," she question the musician and he glared back at her,

"Because it is the ninth leg of the hendecathlon therefore I must compete in it to apease the Ninth God, duh, and you call yourself a follower of the nine," he scolded Heather as she fumed at his statement,

"WELL I AM THE BOSS, AND I AM NOT A FOLLOWER OF THE NINE AND YOUR NINTH GOD DOESN'T EXIST!" She screeched at the nine-obsessed muscian, he quickly sighed in defeat and muttered some small prayer type thing,

"Dear Ninth God, I your loyal slave Trenttttt am talking to you about a blasphemer known commonly as Heather, or Heatherrr as her name of nine states, I beg of you to when her time comes, send her to the land devoid of the number nine, " he finished as the whole cast and crew stared at him with raised brows and weirded out looks.

"Ok, time is up, if contestants go to where they are expected and wait for the contestants, first swimmers follow me to the beach," Chris stated before he walked off as Katie and Leshawna followed the host and the other contestants traveled to their destinations by car or boat.

* * *

At the beach, Katie and Leshawna were in their bathing suits and ready to wade into the water and swim to Boney Island and tag their next members,

"On your marks," he raised a starting pistol as the girls took a step forward, "Get set," he placed a finger on the trigger as the girls leaned forwards, "GO!" he shot the pistol and the girls began to wade as fast as they could through the sea, a bird with plastic rings around it's neck fell to the floor. Katie, being the slightly more athletic of the two got a bit further ahead into the sea, her smaller frame allowing for less resistance in the water.

When deep enough Katie dove into a front crawl across the sea, her arms moving in a crawl like motion. Soon enough, Leshawna had also broke into a swim and was attempting to chase down the girl ahead of her by a good ten or fifteen yards. Katie chanced a look behind her and saw Leshawna only a couple of meters behind her, she used a bit of strategy and swan in front of the sister and slowed down slightly, causing Leshawna to have to slow down as well.

After a good twenty minutes of swimming, Katie still keeping Leshawna behind her, Boney Island appeared on the horizon. Spurred on by the sight of her destination, Katie shot ahead, all thoughts of containing Leshawna forgotten,

"Oh, hell no, little skinny girl is not gonna beat lil' ol Leshawna," Leshawna stated between breaths, doubling her efforts and soon pulling up beside Katie, the glared at eachother when their faces were above the water, only breaking the stare when they placed their faces in the water to keep afloat.

"Please, sister, as if you could beat me," Katie jeered and picked up her pace, gaining a couple of meters on Leshawna. The girls were only a kilometer or so away from the island and Chris with his binoculars quickly picked out the two girls, constantly swapping position, he began to make oohs and ahhs as Justin and Beth strained their eyes to see their teammates.

Back in the sea, Katie had maintained her short lead over Leshawna, "What's the matter Leshawna, is a little skinny girl beating you," Katie once again had a dig at Leshawna

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**LESHAWNA: Since when was Katie so cruel, I always thought she was so bubbly,**

**KATIE: I know I was so mean to Leshawna but Sadie said we need to get the enemies off their guard so yeah, I had to be like so mean.**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Being off guard from Katie's constant jabs and jeers, she went off her stroke and began to flail around in the water, leaving Katie to zoom ahead and reach the beach tagging Justin as she went. "And Katie reaches the shore first tagging Justin, and Leshawna has just tagged Beth for the beaver ride," Chris narrated and the next team mates began the second leg,

"Hey Mrs Beaver how about you give me a ride to Boney Mountain huh?" Justin asked, trying to charm the beaver to do what, turns out the beaver was a male and had a wife. He snarled and charged at Justin, causing the model to run off into the forest, away from the mountain. Beth however had a much better time, she began to talk to the beaver, getting it to allow her onto it's back and it began to run off towards the mountain, the contestant words of encouragement from Beth filling it's ears.

Justin was still on the run from the beaver sprinting through the forest, moaning about how it was ruining his perfect body. He broke into a clearing and quickly slammed on the breaks, skidding to the edge of a cliff, his arms flailing wildly as the beaver came out of the clearing, slowly trotting towards the Hawaian, taunting him with slow movements as Justin began to sweat with fear and worry as a bit of the cliff began to crumble away behind, he naturally leaped forward, only a few feet infront of him was the beaver, it's teeth, it advanced on the model, step by step, and it leaped.

* * *

Meanwhile Beth was still on the Beaver, it was now happily trotting as Beth scratched it behind it's ears. She came to a fork in the road and the beaver stood there, a confused look on it's face, as if confused on where to go next,

"What's wrong?" Beth asked innocently from the back of the beaver, it began to make random beaver-like sounds and Beth began to mutter words ok acknowledment, "Oh, you want to go and see your mate because Chris kept you locked in a cage fore three months prior to this challenge feeding you only strange British crisps, well of course you can, this challenge is way less important than love, go young beaver and meet your mate again," Beth giggled as the beaver sped off down the right path.

Chris had a monitor set up at the foot of Boney Mountain where Ezekiel and Izzy where watching the other contestants progress, waiting for their tag allowing them to climb up the 1000 ft mountain, without a harness. "Come on Justin," Ezekiel began to mutter as Justin was seen backing away from the beaver, watching as it bared it's teeth and leaped at Justin. Justin let ou a small shriek and ducked instinctivly, the beaver falling off the cliff and down below,

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL:**

**JUSTIN: YES I FEEL KINDA BAD FOR THE BEAVER BUT HEY, IT TRIED TO HARM THIS PRETTY FACE, *HE GETS A MIRROR AND BEGINS TO LOOK AT HIS OWN FACE* GOD THIS FACE IS STUNNING**

**THE BEAVER: *BEGINS TO TALK IN BEAVERISH, ENGLISH SUBTITLES PROVIDED* WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT SELF-ABSORBED, EGOCENTRIC, MALE MODEL WHO I MUST SAY HAS THE MOST STUNNING FACE, NO DAVE, YOU ARE MARRIED AND HAVE THREE KIDS, EVEN IF HE IS JUST SO *BEGINS TO STARE AT THE CAMERA WITH AWE BEFORE SLAPPING HIMSELF AND WALKING AWAY***

* * *

Beth was sitting down outside a beaver dam, waiting for her friend to be reunited with it's mate and then carry on her journey to the mountain and tag Izzy and eventually win the challenge. Soon the beaver's head popped out of the dam and began to make the beaver noises. Beth listened to the rodent intently, nodding and mumbling, "You ready to go?" Beth asked and the beaver nodded,walking forwards and allowing the brunette to climb onto it's body and began happily trotting back down the path they had came.

They soon reached the fork in the road and trotted back down the left path. Beth ducked under a tree as she came into a clearing, in this clearing was Chris, Ezekiel and Izzy,

"And Beth reaches tag point first tagging Izzy who will now climb up Boney mountain, Justin has just reached the fork in the road, will he take the left or the right," Chris narrated as Izzy sprinted towards the foot of the mountain and began to run up it vertically, cackling manically as Justin tagged Ezekiel once Izzy was about fifty meters high. "And Justin tags Ezekiel, who is now on Izzy's trail," Ezekiel reached the foot of the mountain and began by grabbing onto a ledge jutting out and hooking his fingers onto it and then jumping up placing his feet on a couple of rocks sticking out of the face.

Upon hearing this Izzy turned around and grinned at Ezekiel, "Hahaha, BOOM BOOM, have fun Zekey," she then threw explosive charges at the homeschool who had to leap out of the way, barely hanging onto a small rock. He then began his ascent again, juming from jut to ledge to rock as Izzy threw a potted plant at him, followed by Brick (yes Brick) and then Chef, all of this coming out from her pockets. In the middle of a dodge Ezekiel's foot was caught on Chef's apron string, meaning he had to shake off the ex-army soldier. In the time it took him to throw Chef off of him Izzy had vertically ran another good hundred meters.

Grunting, the toque wearer doubled his efforts to catch up to the crazy redhead, he was determined and his eyes began to grow larger and the pupils became slits and her bounded up the cliff, soon only a couple of meters behind Izzy who now B behind her who just plummeted down, silently screaming as the now slightly feral home school batted the mute away and bounded past Izzy who ran once again, double as fast and the two began to battle for lead position, Izzy took a couple steps ahead before Ezekiel leveled with her and they stayed together till the final fifty meters when Izzy pulled here secret weapon out of her bra, Ann Maria who looked shocked to be their and be pulled out of Izzy's cleavage before being thrown down the mountain and Ezekiel bounded after her, now focused on saving the Jersey Shore Reject.

Izzy flipped onto a ledge that poked out just under the summit of the mountain, she tagged Geoff who took a small run up and leaped off the mountain, the hanglider kept up by an updraft of wind, "And Geoff has been tagged by Izzy while Ezekiel is running down the island with Ann Maria in his arms, oh wait no, he just dropped her off on the bottom and his climbing is way back up," Chris told over the PA system and the Track Fails cheered at sustaining their lead.

"WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOHHHHHH!" He screamed as he glided towards the island again and looked at his destination, the dock of shame. Twisting his body to set the hanglider on course he just held on and enjoyed the ride down to the beach to tag Sierra who wasn't there? Geoff squinted to try and see the shock of purple that signified Sierra but saw none. He then looked at Pierre's little booth by the cafeteria and saw the stalker babying Cody who was trying to push her off and urge her to the dock so she could carry on with the challenge.

Back on the summit of the mountain Ezekiel had finally reached it and tagged Gwen who took a run up and jumped from the ledge, gliding pretty quickly down to the dock of shame, seeing Geoff still there and Sierra's bike still their as well. She could see the pink outfit of Sadie and leaned forward, hoping to collect a bit of speed by performing a small nose dive. He plan succeeded and she sped up towards the dock to an eager Sadie who was wearing a bright pink helmet for safety.

She did a soft landing and tagged the chubby BFF, with Chris on the dock now,

"Chris how did you get here, I never saw you leave the summit,"

"The magic of TV now shut up, Gwen has tagged Sadie despite Geoff arriving first because Sierra is too busy with Cody, the Track Stars have taken the lead after a devastating knock back both when Justin got attacked by a beaver and Ezekiel running all the way down a mountain to save some spray tan obsessed, Jersey Shore Reject, but Gwen has taken that back and Sadie has begun her ten mile bike ride as Cody began to bargain with his purplette stalker,

"Ok, if you go and compete in the challenge, I will kiss you on the cheek," he offered as Sierra let go of him and began to hyperventilate, "Oh and you have to come in first," he added as she rushed to her bike and she violently slapped Geoff's hand and mounted her bike and began to peddle with fury, soon speeding off into the distance,

"And Sierra begins her bike ride with fury, but can she keep it up for a whole ten mile?" Chris mused over the PM systems as Courtney and Duncan stared intently at the monitors

"Come on Sadie, you can do it," Courtney muttered, her fingers crossed as Chef, now in the uniform he wore in Basic Straining, as well as Chris were behind them,

"Please Princess, Sierra has a kiss from Cody on the line, she would absolutely never ever be beaten and Tweedle-dumber isn't exactly the fittest chick now is she," Duncan told the CIT who glared at him,

"I didn't ask for your opinion, you cheating asshole," she scorned him and he looked away, "Oh, did I hit one of wittle Duncan's nerve spots did I," she pulled on a pouty face at the juvenile who just ignored her and carried on looking at the screen. Sierra was now a few hundred meters behind Sadie, and catching up fast. But the chubby girl was holding her own and still peddling with all her might.

But determination is no match for a Sierra who has been tasked with winning, her reward a kiss from Cody, Sadie had no chance. Sierra showed her this by overtaking her just at the halfway point, and then speeding off into the distance. Despite the stalker being a good five hundred meters in the distance, Sadie plowed on, determined not to lose by too much.

Now at seven and a half miles Sierra had started to decline in speed slightly, certain that Sadie was well behind, a mile to be exact. She pulled a bottle of water from her pocket and took a quick swig, letting the water cool her down. She screwed the lid back on and took off again but at a significantly lower pace than before, confident Sadie wouldn't catch up.

Sadie was still pedalling as fast as her little legs would go, which was surprisingly fast and she was catching up to Sierra, now only half a mile behind the stalker and gaining fast. Ducking under some low branches she carried on. As she ducked under another branch, a smaller stem off caught the side of her top and ripped a gash, if she had not quickly grabbed it, it would of fallen.

"Damn," she muttered to herself,

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

**SADIE: I don't wear a bra with this shirt,**

**END CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Chris was standing in front of the cafeteria, "And so we end this episode here, will Sadie fix her top, will she catch up to Sierra and who will win the amazing Hendecathlon, find out next time on Total Drama, Back To The ISLAND!" he signed off as the screen went blank.

* * *

Ok I am making this a two parter as it could easily make 10,000 words and I like to keep mine pretty short, :D. And I ended it at a bad point but this was where it needed ending, now for those little number things I always forget to do

**[1] Loosely translated as, Brazil Surgeon stupid could not do a nose job fucking**

**[2] References to cartoon logic in Jamaincin me sweat and I triple dog dare you**

**[3] A reference to Total Drama Returns granola bars, but with the 2012 London Olympics crisps they made, they literally made me WTF**

**[4] Parody of Justin Beiber, duh**

**[5] Hendecagon is an eleven sided shape, so by my reasoning, Hendecathlon, is an eleven part race.**

**Bye guys, see ya next chapter :D**


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